Review : Welcome

Rating : The worst (-25/5)
Genre : Comedy (??)
Year : 2007
Running time : 2 hours 30 minutes
Director : Anees Bazmee
Cast : Anil Kapoor, Akshay Kumar, Nana Patekar, Katrina Kaif, Feroz Khan, Mallika Sherawat, Paresh Rawal

WELCOME : DUMB, DOLTISH, DENSE !

This is a film to stir the senses. In a bad way. It has a basically funny premise. Two dons rule Bombay. They have a sister. They want to get the sister married into a respectable family. Trouble is which respectable family will marry into the mafia ?

Reading this, you probably have an unfamiliar feeling clogging your chest, yeah ? It’s called hope. But, all to no avail, my friend. Consider that this film has been made by Anees Bazmee (No Entry). Thus the funny premise which I talked about in the previous paragaraph is shaken and stirred with all the elements of mindless masala, turning what could have been a perfectly decent comedy into, how do I say this politely, hmm… A PIECE OF UNADULTERATED CRAP !

Nana Patekar is Don Uday Shetty, Sanjana’s brother. Anil Kapoor is Majnoo, Uday’s second-in-command and almost brother (muh-bola-bhai-you-get-my-drift ?) Katrina is Sanjana, the don’s smiling, gorgeous, fairly innocent sister. Akshay Kumar is the moron who’s in love with Sanjana, trying to get his respectable family (Paresh Rawal is Dad) to accept the don’s sis as the dutiful bahu.

There’s no direction and no editing. The movie veers away from the original premise into several non-sensical detours. Since stupidity is unpredictable, I couldn’t actually tell where the film was going, if anywhere. I deride films like Partner, but in comparison to Welcome, Partner appears to be an art film. It’s a pity that this is the terrible film that it is because it features Anil Kapoor, Akshaye Kumar and Paresh Rawal, all three of whom have got the comic timing down pat. Mallika Sherawat has a decent role too, and does well in it. Katrina Kaif – gorgeous-yes, acting-no. There is a silver lining to this cloud, however, and that is the music.

However, I will end here, because really, how many different ways can you say stupid ?