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[/amazon_link]I’ve had guests from India in large numbers recently; I had mattresses down in every corner of the house. Kith-and-kin and friends of kith-and-kin. Living here for a while now, makes you aware of how high-maintenance desi guests are. The kind that I encounter at least .
Here, there are no servants. There is a maid service, but that’s like weekly. The rest is upto yours truly. Not only did I get told numerous times that we don’t do any work in India (I wanted to remind them that this was America), I was also reminded by some folks that they couldn’t eat meals unless accompanied by a salad. How I wish that people who have such culinary demands would stay in their own homes, where they would have access to large amounts of salad whenever they wished. I thought it; I didn’t speak it out loud. My saving grace (or one of them).
My philosophy on cooking is you cook it, and serve it, in large (and hopefully beautiful) serving dishes, with appropriate cutlery etc.. From the serving bowl toy one’s stomach is not my job. I don’t go around serving hot chappattis, or offering to refresh sabzis, when everyone else is perfectly able to do it by themselves. Really, I miss the bad-girl/housewife/bahu tag by just this much.
I know that in India you sort of carry food with you when you embark on journeys. Mostly because you don’t trust the food available at stations, or you think the water might be contaminated. Fair enough. But here, I have never actually packed food for anyone. And apparently that was the expectation. Logic fails me. There is no famine. Clean food is available in plenty, in airports, in restaurants, everywhere ! Why would you expend labor on something so easily available ?
Apart from the cooking/chauffeuring I recently discovered that someone had changed my Internet Explorer settings, so now they all pointed to various India pages, and downloaded a bunch of software on my PC. Not that I would have refused but asking wouldn’t have hurt.
I am reminded of an excellent essay by Chitra Divakaruni in the book “The bitch in the house”. It’s a collection of 26 essays, and Divakaruni’s is about “Houseguest Hell”.
May god never let me become your guest.
It is no longer when funny guests overstay and make unreasonable demands. One way to prevent the computer mess-up is to create a guest account.
Maybe it is not just about availability of food but the kind of food available in the US, and most times for Indians visiting the US it’s just too different to be able to enjoy the taste.
We are like that only! 🙂
Hosting relatives is even in India would run us into the same issues you describe here. Even with servants, it can be quite a pain when quests expect personalized attention all the time.
Well, fact of the matter is that hosting guest anywhere is pain.Do think your visit to India-especially when accompnied by children brought up in US – is painless for your host? most of the time its immediete family so this is ignored completelly. To begin with your flight arrive/depart in early morning,so bye to sweet sleep.As Indians cant adjust to food in US/Europe.You dont adjust with all masala food in India.So often we have spent days at home lookingafter sick guests-vomiting,Diarrhoea,pain,and exhaution due to heat in India.The rant can go on but as I spend good amount of time with my children in US and when in India receive guests from US/UK, i can tell you that its same everywhere. Most of the time we in India are not aware of practical situation and reality in US especially the distances and trouble of cooking at home,getting grocery etc.If you can explain basic principle than they can understand. Unfortunatelly most of the time they make only one trip in lifetime,so they dont care and dont adjust to host’s situation. They go home and somtimes badmouth the host.which is a pity—PK
Anon,
My thoughts exactly.
Patrix,
Thanks for the suggestion. Will do.
Anil,
Maybe it is. However I do think (and I’m not being rude here – this is what I think) when you go out travelling there are no guarantees that you’ll enjoy the food/weather/water etc. It won’t be home and it won’t feel like home. One must adjust to the circumstance (from my POV). If you like the pillows plumped just the way they are at home, your own bed might be best.
Shantanu,
True. I’ve seen overbearing guests in action there too.
PK,
I’m probably just as insufferable as the next person, as a guest. As far as not adjusting to masala food, as guests we eat what we are offered. Making demands/requiring special treatment is a big no-no. If someone opens up his/her home to you, it is upto you to appreciate their hospitality (and desis, here and in India, will bend over backwards to make you feel welcome). Graciousness is not a one-way street.
I’ve been in the same boat. It’s absolutel exhausting.
Hilarious!
Mumbaigirl,
Indeed !
Slogamurugan,
Thanks ! I aim to amuse 🙂