Amodini's Book Reviews

Book Reviews and Recommendations

All I want . . .

Written By: amodini - Feb• 16•07

Excess energy is one of those euphemistic oxymorons like enough money. Or spare time. Like what do you mean by spare ? Is there such a thing ? I hear bachelors (and bachelorettes) moan about not having enough time. And I’m thinking, honey wait till you have a spouse and kids, and a home and work, and kid’s extra-curricular activities, and the desi baggage of imparting “culture” to your kids, and a social life to maintain (I mean I’d like to be a hermit, but can’t expect the kids to cut off all human contact, can I ?), and then you tell me about not having “enough” time.

Eons back, in Hindi class in school, I remember having a chapter named “Anuj ko patra” or something similar; some famous man writing to his younger brother advising him on how to live a good life, etc. Man, that generation was always so moralistic. Anyway, he (the writer) says that he sleeps for only 4 hours a night, and then I remember the Hindi teacher asking us all if that was a good idea. And I remember us all shaking our heads solemnly – not a good idea. Now, though (with not having enough time and all) it seemed good enough to try out. Tried it for a a while, but I’m off it now, because all it did for me, was make me doze off in meetings at work, and leave under-eye circles so deep, American eagles could roost there.

Did anyone ever tell you that there would be a time when you could be sucked clean of energy ? All of it. Like, if you took a vaccum cleaner specifically made for this purpose, and vaccummed your insides, there wouldn’t be a speck of it anywhere ? I watch my son bound across the room. Not run, not walk, BOUND. He takes little jumps, and hop, skip and jump, and he’s across the room. Now if I had that kind of energy, and didn’t collapse from sheer exhaustion at the end of it all, I would me thinks, be rail-thin. It’s like on of those torture excercises the fitness instructor puts you through – “Now, girls ! Bunny-hop across the room !”

And enough money – when is it ever enough ? Me, I’m a girl of simple tastes. All I want (in terms of material comfort) are about a hundred pairs of shoes (and enough closet space to hold them all, neatly, pair by pair, on pull-out cedar shelves – yup I dream in detail), lots of good books, and a mansion to read them in. And since one would slowly die if kept away from films and Shahrukh Khan, one would need a 60 inch, plasma TV. And ofcourse the other neccesity a car – a swanky 300 horsepower roadster would suit my basic needs (and the kids would be delighted !).

As I said, I’m a girl of simple tastes.

A large, shiny rock(s) on my finger wouldn’t hurt either.

The Sawal (and Jawab) of the week

Written By: amodini - Feb• 15•07

Recently on KBC :

SRK : Which of the following is not a type of coffee :

A) Cappucino
B) Espresso
C) Mocha
D) Darjeeling

Contestant : D) Darjeeling

SRK : And D is correct because Darjeeling is . . . (waits for contestant to fill in)

Contestant : A hill-station

Making Koffee without spilling the beans

Written By: amodini - Feb• 14•07

Watching NDTV the other day, I come across this ad. for Koffee with Karan. Oooh, why is a rival channel (NDTV) advertising KWK which comes on Star ? Only it’s not exactly “Koffee with Karan” – it’s actually a preview for “Koffee with Karan”. A full-fledged program, by itself. On NDTV.

How is Johar managing to get away with this ? Why is Star not raising hell ? How is selling a preview of a “Star” program on NDTV, not a violation of some of that fine print on the contract which I’m sure Johar signed with Star TV ? A preview of KWK should actually go to Star. Agreed that Johar now has a stake in NDTV but that doesn’t mean you can actually take the fizz out of a program on a rival network. Is it ethical ? And ethics be damned, is it legal ?

Still, I must admit with the second season of KWK, I have bigger problems at hand. By the will of the TV Gods, KWK and “The Apprentice” now come on Sundays at the same time, and I must decide which one to record and which one to watch in real time.

Koffee with Karan : Same old same old

Written By: amodini - Feb• 12•07

KWKKWK returned yesterday, ie; Feb 11th, with Karan, and the usual junta. There was Sharukh, Kajol and Rani. Shahrukh was flanked on either side by the two second cousins, but that didn’t stop the man from letting loose his ad-libbing tongue. He said stuff to this effect :

Karan : What would you do if you woke up in the morning and found that you’d turned into Karan Johar ?

SRK (laughs) : I think there is more of a probablility that I’d actually wake up with you, rather than as you.

That must have woken up the aunties watching the show! Kajol collapses into giggles. Rani, shakes her head – like what’s gotten into him. Karan is vastly amused. Guess who the Koffee Hamper went to.

And then :

Karan (to Rani) : What would you do if there were the 3 of you stranded on a plane (which was going down) and there were only 2 parachutes ?

Rani (demurely) : I’d give Kajol and SRK the parachutes.

SRK (affectedly macho) : What’s the problem ? You two (gestures at Rani and Kajol) chipko (stick to me) to me, and I’ll jump with the parachutes.

Both the girls retort back in the who-do-you-think-you-are fashion. Much good-natured shoving going on at this point.

kwk2 SRK was quite in his element; I’d imagine if he’s actually like this, he must have considerable trouble holding down the comments in KBC. With all the repartees flying around, it was more like a gaggle of good old friends rather than a TV show. And while this might be fun for them (as I’m sure it was), it’s not much fun for the viewer – we’ve seen it before. Kajol comes across as sharp and peppy, and by contrast Rani appears drab and oh-so-politically correct. So not fun. Karan was his usual, catty self, but SRK seems to have up-staged him for once. The set seemed unchanged (even the flooring seemed familiar), the music’s unchanged, they still sign the same old cups, there were much the same digs at Mallika sherawat, and this time at Rakhi Sawant too.

This was the first show, and SRK saved it. But let’s face it, not everyone else has his sense of humor. KWK’s future doesn’t look that exciting.

India the Superpower ?

Written By: amodini - Feb• 10•07

CNN Money has an interesting article on India’s superpower status, and some eye-popping stats to go with it. Take for example :

The adult literacy rate is 61 percent (behind Rwanda and barely ahead of Sudan)

While I’m shocked to see it behind Rwanda, 61 sounds a high number; I thought it’s be less than that.

India has more people with HIV than any other country.

Oh my God !

Essentially the article states the unvarnished truth, that India must not count it’s chickens before they’re hatched. India can be a superpower but it’s not one now, and all the chest-thumping over accomplishments which don’t touch the majority won’t make it one :

” . . . the future will not belong to India unless it takes action to embrace it, and that means more than high-profile vanity projects like putting a man on the moon or building the world’s tallest tower. It means showing that the world’s largest democracy can deliver real progress to the hundreds of millions who have never used the phone, much less the Internet. And in important ways, that just isn’t happening.”

A different kind of hoo, hah !

Written By: amodini - Feb• 08•07

aurora-borealis2 Saw this via feministing.com , but here’s the link to the article.

“A theatre in Florida has had to change the title of a charity production of The Vagina Monologues on its marquee, after a woman complained that it was offensive.

The new name? They’ve decided on ‘The Hoohaa Monologues’.

Atlantic Theatres in Atlantic Beach, Florida, received a complaint from a woman who’d seen the advertised title as she drove past with her niece. She said that it had made her niece ask her what a vagina was.

The theatre’s Bryce Pfanenstiel commented: ‘I’m on the phone and asked “What did you tell her?” She’s like, “I’m offended I had to answer the question.”’

aurora-borealisBeing offended is entirely appropriate. Because after all, women don’t have vaginas, they have hoohaas. And they don’t give birth to babies, storks bring them.

Oh, and the Aurora Borealis is just the Lord communicating with us via Morse Code.

The new (and improved) Aesop’s fables : Ash and the tree

Written By: amodini - Feb• 08•07
aishwarya Lot’s of hoo-ha about Aishwarya Rai’s marriage to a tree. A much debated topic now. Plus an enterprising lawyer from Patna has filed a case against the Bachhan’s for engaging in regressive practices etc. Really, this lawyer’s service to the nation in bringing to the fore this important issue for women’s rights is heartwarming :

From Yahoo India :

“The recent development is that a Public interest litigation has been filed against Aishwarya Rai for marrying trees. It is known that Aishwarya had some problems in her horoscope and had to marry a tree or an animal first before getting married to a human. It is said that the dhosham in her horoscope was the main reason for the delay in the engagement with Abhishek.

Now a case has been filed in the Patna High court by a lady lawyer stating that this act is equivalent to untouchability and the Bachchans must be arrested for making Aishwarya Rai marry trees. It is learnt that Aishwarya had married a peepal tree at Benaras. “

First off, the Bachhan family isn’t actually known for their progressive views. In an interview to NDTV, Amitabh when asked about Aishwarya, seemed to harp on the fact that for all her public image, she was very homely and domesticated, and more traditional than she seemed. Please note, that you could be Miss Universe etc, be the most beautiful woman in the world, have a great career to boot, but when it came to marrying the son of the First Family of Bollywood, what mattered was that you were traditional and domesticated. Plus, there were rumors about the Bachhans having problems with their to-be-bahu’s kiss with Hrithik in Dhoom 2, and attempts were made to edit out that scene in screenings. And if she’s walking into all that with her eyes open, marrying a tree would be the least of her problems.

This i.e.; marrying a tree, is a regressive ritual no doubt, and should be done away with, but Lawyer Shruti (of Bihar) in filing this particular case, has demonstrated that she has let go of juicier opportunities before. Cases of such moral and righteous indignation could have been filed against Bihari icon and then Chief Ministers Laloo) who spend inordinate amounts on his kids’ marriages, or had in the first place, way more than the “ideal” 2 children as advised by the Government of India. Bad example, no ?

It’s not like there is a lack of issues on which to file PILs that lawyers need to desperately hunt about for “cases which set a bad example”. Considering that cases of molestation, abuse, and dowry abound, Lawyer Shruti should have enough grist for her mill, without having to think this hard. Most women would not consider Ash’s marriage to a tree top priority or even impinging on their every-day, eve-teased lives.

Secondly we are not talking of a poor, repressed girl, unable to speak in her defense , but of a well-spoken, educated, film-star – although she might have to tone it down a bit if she wants to fit into the Bachhan families domesticated mould. And those mini-skirts will have to go, what say my girl ? It’s not like she doesn’t know what she’s doing, or that she has no means of refusing do something if she doesn’t want to. If she’s that worried about future death/divorce after the marriage, who is the public/media to stop her from performing a (silly and regressive) ritual ? It’s not like the tree will want marital life with it’s duly-wedded consort or even have problems about her Hrithik liplock. In fact, considering the benefits (I mean, Gadzooks Ash, have you even thought of the emotional and familial baggage Abhishek comes with ?), Aishwarya should let go of Abhishek and stick with the tree instead.

More from Nora Ephron

Written By: amodini - Feb• 06•07

heartburn This is part II of this post. Some more excerpts from “Heartburn” – what Rachel Samstat thinks about stuff :

Describing her husband Mark – He has a black beard , but the part of it that’s on the left side of his chin has a little white stripe in it, where the skin underneath has no pigment. Just like a skunk is what you’re thinking, and you’re right, but it can look very odd and interesting

On finding good men – You think I’m just standing there, and this army of men is walking by, shouting, ’Choose me, choose me’, and I always pick the turkey. Life’s not like that. I can’t even find a man who lives in the same city I do.

On recipes with potatoes – Not just any potato will do when it comes to love.

On trying again – Maybe he’s come to his senses. Maybe he’s remembered he loves me. Maybe he’s full of remorse. There was a police car parked in front of the house. Maybe he’s dead, I thought. That wouldn’t solve everything, but it would solve a few things. He wasn’t, of course. They never are. When you want them to die, they never do.

On marriages – We were on our second marriages; we had got the kinks out of the machinery; we would bring up our children in a poppy field of love and financial solvency and adequate household help. There would be guns for our daughters and dolls for our sons.

On parenting – All those idiotically lyrical articles about child-rearing duties never mention that, nor do they allude to something else that happens when a baby is born, which is that all the power struggles of the marriage have a new playing field. The baby wakes up in the middle of the night, and instead of jumping out of bed, you lie there thinking: whose turn is it? If it’s your turn, you have to get up; if it’s his turn, then why is he still lying there asleep while you’re awake wondering whose turn it is ?

On throwing pies – If I throw this pie at him, he will never love me. But he doesn’t love me anyway. So I can throw the pie if I want to. I picked up the pie, thanked God for the linoleum floor, and threw it.

The Jewish Prince Routine

Written By: amodini - Feb• 01•07

crown Nora Ephron’s “Heartburn” came highly recommended. Although, the novel on the whoel was just about OK, Ephron had moments where she was just so bitingly fierce and funny at the same time, it made me yearn for more. It makes perfect sense to call hers a rapier wit. I believe she got most of her ammunition from divorcing her ex-husband(s), the most recent of whom apparently had an affair behind her back.

In this book, she couples the story of her heroine, who’s a cookbook author, with her loser husband who’s got a wife and mistress and wants to keep both, and her recipes, homilies and just candid observations. And just so I don’t forget these passages which make me laugh everytime I read them, no matter that I pretty much know what it’s about etc., I am going to archive some of the choicest on a 2 part post.

The first is dedicated to the crowning jewel of the book : The Jewish Prince routine. This routine is one by the main protagonist Rachel Samstat, and is about ways in which to recognize if the man before you is indeed a prince. In this passage, Ephron does all womankind a big service, since amazingly most cultures have their own princes, and the ability to recognize one is indeed a true gift. Replace Jewish with Indian, or American or Brazilian, and it would still be true.

Well, I dither no more, and present to you (in part):

Rachel Samstat’s Jewish Prince Routine

You know what a Jewish prince is, don’t you ?
(Cocks her eyebrow)
If you don’t, there’s an easy way to recognize one. A simple sentence. “Where’s the butter?”
(A long pause here, because the laugh starts slowly and build)
Okay. We all know where the butter is, don’t we?
(A little smile)
The butter is in the refrigerator.
(Beat)
The butter is in the refrigerator in the little compartment in the door marked “Butter”.
(Beat)
But the Jewish prince doesn’t mean “Where’s the butter?” He means “Get me the butter.” He’s too clever to say “Get me” so he says “Where’s.”
(Beat)
And if you say to him –
(Shouting)
“in the refrigerator”—
(Resume normal voice)
And he goes to look, an interesting thing happens, a medical phenomenon that has not been sufficiently remarked upon.
(Beat)
The effect of the refrigerator light on the male cornea.
(Beat)
Blindness.
(a long beat)
“I don’t see it anywhere.”

On being desi

Written By: amodini - Jan• 26•07

om Reading this post, I have mixed feelings. My own kids are yet small, but I’m pretty clear on the kind of knowledge I want them to have of their culture and on being desi. Because desi is what you are, born of 2 desi parents.

I am Hindu but not really religious, which causes many raised eyebrows in my family. I don’t do many pujas, or fasts, and feminism doesn’t neatly fit into Hindu culture. When we get sermons on visiting (from India) uncles and aunties, on raising our children to be Indian, the implication being that American is “not good” (a separate post on that), I am the one who raises the question on the possibility of such a thing. The kids are desi – true. But they are also born in America, which rightly makes them Indian-American, a blend of both Indian and American values. How can I raise them to be only Indian, eat Indian, speak Indian, wear Indian ? How can I expect my children to not be influenced by the society they live in ?

I do not want to ghetto-ize my kids.

Still, I am big on culture. And I don’t equate culture with religion. Culture is knowing who you are, who your ancestors were, what language they spoke, what food you eat, why you eat it, if there is a God, who She is and a number of other things – both bad and good. This forms your core, defines who you are, until you are old enough or wise enough to decide differently. Whether your core is good or bad, you’d better have one, otherwise you’re in bigger trouble. And these things can be learned over time. However most of us gain this “heritage” by dint of birth. We are born into a particular family, of certain beliefs, on a certain society, and a certain culture. That generally forms your first belief system.

Knowing all this, learning your parents’ mother-tongue (which is now yours by way of birth) does not mean, that you do not assimilate other cultures. It does not stop you from questioning. Important questions like why dowry originated or why it doesn’t stop. It doesn’t stop you from appreciating that though in Hindi we have “Aap” and “Tum”, in English we have only “You”. Obvious differences in language and practice point to a difference in origination of beliefs, and apart from all the know-your-culture blather are pretty interesting to see.

And ultimately, once you have a certain understanding of culture, your and others, it is upto you. Whether you choose to follow your culture, or only parts of it, or splice it up with parts of another culture which you find good, is your choice. But to make this choice, you need to know your own culture first.

When in India, there is a subtle assimilation of desi culture. You walk by a temple, you hear the Aarti inside. You walk by a vegetable vendor on the road, and he is selling his wares in a particular language. You hear loud, annoying filmi songs from a neighborhood speaker to celebrate a religious festival. You see a marriage procession on the road complete with band-baaja and dancing baaratis. You see youngsters playing cricket in a park. You learn Hindi or Telugu or Tamil because everyone at home or around you speaks it. You learn of differect cultural aspects by meeting people who are more or less of similar cultures.

In America it’s not that clear-cut. You don’t actually hear Hindi outside the home. If you don’t keep track of your festivals, Rakhi or Holi will pass you by, and you’ll be none the wiser. Here it takes much more of a focussed effort to learn something we take for granted in India. If left to themselves the kids will assimilate culture – a hodeg-podge of American, Chinese, Mexican and other cultures, without knowing where they stand themselves. I’d like them to have a balance, a good mix of cultures, knowledge of others besides themselves, and people like themselves.

It’s a matter of providing choices, not ramming them down your kids’ throats. Proving “culture”, sending them to language school, or the facility to learn about Pujas (Vedic chants and what have you), or even seeing Hindi films, is not just what it seems – it’s a way of providing a backbone, a backbone which they will need when they’ll have to answer questions by themselves. I do agree that a person can be whole and complete without “being desi-fied” but it does help to be able to answer when my daughter asks me why we eat dal-rice instead of burgers everyday (and we do eat burgers). Or why she is dark-skinned when her friend Sara is fair. Or why she doesn’t look like Barbie.