Review : Dhoom 2

Rating : Below average (2.9/5)
Genre : Thriller
Year : 2006
Running time : 2 hours 45 minutes
Director : Sanjay Gadhvi
Cast : Hrithik Roshan, Abhishek Bachchan, Bipasha Basu, Aishwarya Rai, Uday Chopra

DHOOM 2 : DISAPPOINTING !

This is quite an unbearable film. Halfway through it, I’m waiting for the film to pick up and show some promise. But it doesn’t; it gets worse. If you cringed when in KANK, Karan Johar fawned over Shahrukh Khan, it’s massive cringe time for you (me, I curled up in a tiny ball in my expensive $8 seat) – because Gadhvi fawns over Hrithik and Bachchan and Rai. And not once either – he goes in for this repeat adulation thing where he camera kisses them again and again and again, actually every-time they appear on screen, until I’m sick to the gills of a hero in slow motion being thrust adoringly down my throat. The kid seated in the row ahead of us keeps crying, and I know how he feels.

I’m thinking it’s actually nice to be watching a new movie on Thanksgiving Day, with all the malls closed etc. And a day before it releases in India too – fancy that ! So, of course with all the hype, the hall is pretty full for an afternoon show, and as we leave the theatre at the end of the movie, I hear that the 7 o’clock show is sold out. What I’d like to do is put up a big sign, urging all the poor sods in the ticket queue to save their money; only I think the theatre owner might have a fit.

Mr. A (Roshan) is the perfect thief pursued by ACP Jai Dixit (Bachchan) and his pal sub-inspector Ali (Uday Chopra). Rai plays Sunehri, wannabe-master-thief who wants to team up with Mr. A. Rimi Sen has a walk-on part as Dixit’s pregnant wife Sweety. And Bipasha Basu has a double role, one as ACP Shonali Bose (they call her Sho) helping ACP Dixit catch Mr. A. and the other as Shonali’s twin sister and Brazilian bikini-clad beach babe Monali (exercise to the reader : do they call her Mo ?).

There’s precious little going on in the film. I mean they literally don’t do anything. There is some action, but it’s done primarily to idolize the star (what he’s wearing, how high he jumps etc.) who’s doing it rather than move the film ahead. There is 1 poorly-done fight sequence, no suspense, no drama and no pizzazz really. Repetitive shots of smug hero/heroines showing them contemplating/smirking do not a film make. It’s not fun watching anyone think. For more than 2 minutes.

The story is a spindly little thing on stilts. Very weak and shaky. Not to mention boring. The background music is incessant – and it’s not very good either. Every 2 minutes of dialogue is followed by annoying background music and some more fawning adulation of some or the other character. We see Rai, Bachhan, Roshan, Basu (take your pick) in slow motion, from different angles, in different clothes, in different pouts and in different stages of hirsutism (the latter for Abhishek only). I mean, I can handle adulation, love, obsession even, but let’s pin all the above onto a decent story please. Disjointed pieces of fawning adulation, stuck together, do me no good. The acting is pathetic and the dialogues are as cheesy and corny as they get. The story, such as it is, is featherweight (poof ! and it’s gone !) and the characters aren’t developed at all. The “depth” of the film thus is akin to that of the Yamuna in a Delhi summer.

The director in his desire to be “cool” gets his characters to talk affectedly. Of course Aishwarya is naturally “affected” so this doesn’t make a difference in her acting. In an effort to be even more cool, they whiz about on fancy motor-bikes, roller-skates and speed-boats. Since Mr. A is a super-whiz he messes around with various robotic gadgets, all of which appear to be more intelligent than any character in the film. Hrithik does try to act but his character is so pathetically developed that I didn’t believe it (yeah, inspite of those wash-board abs). Abhishek does act but has far too much hair on his face to deliver coherent dialogue. I know that without “the bearded look” he looks like a kid, but too much hair (as in this case) reminds me unpleasantly of Neanderthal man. The hair on the face – a matter of fine balance you know.

Miss Basu and Ms. Rai are devoid of any hair (except on the head) that I could see and reveal slim, tanned limbs in short shorts and mini-skirts. Bipasha can’t act but that doesn’t matter here as her role is of no consequence to the story. Rai can’t act either, and sadly (for the poor movie-goer) it does matter because her character actually does stuff. As far as Uday Chopra is concerned, the less said the better.

Gadhvi has not made a film; I believe he’s made a style statement(s). Do I want to spend my money watching a 3 hour long (bad) style statement, with a weak story, shallow characters, bad editing (did they even have an editor ?), poor screenplay, uninspiring music and non-actors to boot ? I think not.

This film actualy reminds me Karam, where the director was so busy polishing his technique, he forgot he was making a film for commercial consumption. To summarize, this is one bad film. Be warned – if you thought Dhoom was OK, Dhoom 2 is much, much worse.

Watch the trailer instead, it’s free and it’s better !