Review : Ugly aur pagli

Rating : Poor(2/5)
Genre : Romantic Comedy
Year : 2008
Running time : 2 hrs
Director : Sachin Khot
Cast : Mallika Sherawat, Ranvir Shourey, Bharati Achrekar, Zeenat Aman, Payal Rohtagi

UGLY AUR PAGLI : VERY, VERY UGLY !

This film is surreal. And not in a good way. I accept that in this world, people behave in different ways, have different modes of reasoning/thinking and at times actions can be unfathomable – i.e.; is this person really nutty, or am I just not getting the drift ? Which is all fine and good – to each his/her own. However, if you actually are planning to make a movie featuring the above unfathomable actions, I have one word for you – don’t.

Watching this film, I had to ponder about whether it had, you know, like a deeper meaning. After 2 hours, I thought not. It tried to make believe that love is preceeded by pain – physical pain that is, which includes lots of slapping (by an almost stranger). Also that people who ill-treat you, really, really love you, you know, somewhere deep down underneath (although it’s so dark in there, who can really tell ?).

Pseudo-arty-sharty film, anyone ?

Touted as a kooky, romantic comedy in the teasers, U and P isn’t really one. It does have the whole twisted-love-in-anguish thing going on though. Kabir (Shourie) is an engineering student, who hasn’t passed his engineering exams in many years, but still struggles on. He meets beautiful Kuhu (Mallika), who’s then in a pretty sozzled state. No matter, the knight in shining armor promptly rescues her. Again and again. And all he ever gets in return in bad attitude. And so it goes . . . for a very long time indeed.

The film revolved around this theme of the doormat Kabir being trod upon by insensitive Kuhu again and again, until it was very hard to take. Sure, there are sad stories, but I didn’t sign up for one, looking at the trailer.

I can see what this film was trying to do, ie; develop into a delicate, ethereal vision of a film which would have us all wiping away tears of gentle understanding, and oohing and aahing at the subtle intricacies of love. Maybe “My Sassy Girl”, the Korean movie upon which U & P is based, is such a film (I haven’t seen it). U and P definitely isn’t. So what’s missing ? Here’s a list :

1. Romance : You thought romance was some delicate flower blooming in a hitherto untouched human heart ? Poor sod, you ! It’s not. As per this director, it’s someone trying to make a guy wear a woman’s shoes (literally) and having him drive a seat-less bicycle .

2. Chemistry between the lead pair : Mallika and Shorey come together like chalk and cheese. Leave alone as a romantic couple these two should not even be cast in the same film.

3. Comedy : Nyet, nada !

4. Character development : Mallika’s character Kuhu was one-dimensional. Yes, the character was obnoxious and over-bearing. Yes, we do have a reason given to explain away her abusive ways, but minus all the supporting infrastructure, this role falls flat. Another film, Everybody says I’m fine had the heroine exhibiting similarly surreal behavior, but she had a pretty believable reason. Shorey is a fine actor, so I’ve got to blame it on the screenplay for botching up the job so bad.

And here’s something which almost made the above list : the screenplay. There is indeed a screenplay – ie; there is dialogue and action. However it misses out on major ingredients like redeeming qualities in protagonists, and developing points of interest. A romance hinges around two likeable characters, and the ability to get the audience so interested in them, that they are rooting on the two bcoming a twosome. Kuhu and Kabir are pretty unlikeable, Kuhu is downright nasty, whereas Kabir is too door-matty for his own good. One hopes that Kabir gets as far as possible from Kuhu as possible, not the other way around. In other words, I care 2 hoots about these people – therefore blissful love ? Not happening, atleast in this movie.

And the songs were something else – loud and outlandish, with very few contextual moorings. If you think of the film as this fragile, blooming bud (which it was not – I can’t seem to get away from the floral analogy), the songs were the nasty little boy who stomped all over it. What gives ?

One tries to not be too mean while dissing a film, but folks, here’s fair warning – this is a ghastly, ghastly film. Keep away.